IT’S SATURDAY

Yeah, a weekend. On the weekends normal America goes out and takes care of the business that they put off during the week. Grocery shopping, yard work, hours of tv watching. Wholesome shit. Today, I needed an oil change. Who would have thought that the first time paying for an oil change would open my eyes to what could be the biggest problem facing young people today. Worse than drugs, worse than acne.

Sitting in Jiffy Lube I was drinking the awesome free coffee and watching the awesome Jiffy Lube TV channel. And that’s when she came on. Like some banshee shrieking into the night, the bitch popped onto tv. I had hoped not to be drawn into the world of these little teen stars and their fucking popularity, but there, staring me down in an epic gunslinger-esque duel, was Miley Cirus. I don’t know who she is or where she came from. I also don’t care. I hear the name constantly enough, and wonder how it is that people who are 15 have any right to celebrity status or to be thrown into the faces of decent human beings. I’m sure she’s a nice girl, but after what seemed like an eternity (5 minutes) of her blabbing on about some asinine movie, I couldn’t understand the following. She spoke like every one of those girls that you end up ignoring anywhere else. The lack of intelligence was palpable. And painful.

But this is the state of modern pop culture. The art of it is gone. It is replaced with attractive non-threatening young people. Elvis would shit himself, if he didn’t have that one medical problem, to see who the American public screams and flips a shit for today. That one medical problem is death, by the way, being dead at the very least means you can no longer poop. Good thing too. I think the next batch of youngsters to take the lime light need to keep in mind the level of intelligence that seems to be waining from the public spotlight these days. Also, be at least 18.

~ by clydeisbryan on March 1, 2009.